Pieces of Me

Exhaustion -- I mentioned it the other day and today I am still loaded with it. When I get exhausted, I become either delirious and giddy or I become very emotional. This go round - I have been the latter.

I am so tired that the other night when I was trying to get baseboards painted, I couldn't find the rag I was using the previous night. I found it FINALLY and picked it up. The Husband said he needed it. I saw he had another and he said he needed that one too. I became very dramatic and WHINED, yes, I whined. I also about burst into tears because what was I going to use?!

Being this tired, I let my mind wander. I think about all sorts of things. Today I found myself thinking about the past: friends, boyfriends, events, all of it. I don't regret anything about my past because I know all roads and bumps and whatevers led me to this moment, this place in my life.

Do you ever think about people who aren't in your life any more? Do you wonder where they are and how they have been? Do you go so far as to see if they are on Facebook?

I have found myself thinking a lot about a particular girl who I thought was a very close friend of mine. We met as RAs (Residence Assistants) for the college apartment complex we were living my sophomore year. We became very close and after the first year as an RA we decided to stop and we became room mates. It was awesome! There aren't many college memories that I have that don't include this girl. We always had such a great time together and we helped develop our occasional craft into a full blown obsession where scrapbooking and knitting became our Friday night highlight. We would make frozen umbrella drinks and go to movies together; we went looking at apartments together when our boyfriends and us decided it would be fun for the 4 of us to live together. We threw amazing parties and drank a lot together. We theifed a banner from another phase of the apartment complex and hung it in our apartment. We went to Friendly's a lot and had ice cream. I miss this girl and I probably shouldn't but she was a big part of my life. We moved in together with our boyfriends and the 4 of us had a fairly good coexistence. 

I actually think the problem had been the guy I was dating and we were living with. He wasn't exactly a positive or even a super friendly individual. He and I broke up -- it was ugly. He moved out and I continued to live there. 

She and I and several of my friends celebrated my birthday in April 2007 at the apartment and one day in May I came home after visiting my parents in Georgia and they were gone. They took all their things and some of mine. They didn't leave a note, she didn't give me any explanation, nothing. I was so sad and then I was mad. It seemed so cowardly to me that they just up and left - they didn't say anything. She didn't say good-bye. She didn't even tell me they had intentions of moving out. 

I called her. I emailed her. I never heard back. We remained 'friends' on facebook and I would send her messages every once in a while - I told her I hoped her and her boyfriend had fun on their road trip across the country for his career move; I congratulated her when her and her boyfriend became engaged; I congratulated her when they got married. I emailed her asking what happened and why I had never heard from her. Nothing - I did this for about 2 years. Finally, I un-friended her. She didn't want to be a part of my life on any level, she made that clear. So it was the only thing I could do. It wasn't malicious it was just the end for me. She doesn't need to know about my life when she clearly doesn't want me in hers. Petty? Maybe. I am still sad when I think about it because there was never any closure, there was nothing.

I think about her a lot - I want to reach out to her but I know she will never respond.

Have you had relationships fall apart in front of you and you didn't see it? Did you ever get closure??

I think that's enough Debbie Downer out of me!!! On a very happy and positive note: ALL THE FLOORS are down in the new house!!!! We are one step closer to moving in. I am moving in on Saturday with or without The Husband haha! Ok probably not - I will wait but I am so ready! I can't share pictures because I don't have internet at home STILL; super happy with our services right now! I'm hoping we can have it successfully transferred this weekend and then bring on the pictures! =)

I hope y'all are having a fabulous week and that the next two days cruise by so you can enjoy your weekend =)
For those of you who made it to the end of this post - I love you ♥