Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Love The One You're With


Yesterday, The Husband and I wished each other 'happy 6 years since our first date'  I'm not joking - we actually say sappy things like that to each other.  Every month on the 10th (dating month-iversary) and then the 13th (wedding month-iversary).  Yes we are giant dorks. And to make it worse - The Husband remembers more often than I do!  I started reminiscing over the last 6 years that we have known each other. It's like a lifetime - like I don't remember my life before him. Yes, I had a life before him but I can't remember what it was like NOT knowing him. 

Last week, The Husband and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary. Three years. It is a lot of time and none at all at the same time. Things are so different in so many way since the day we said ‘I do”.  It isn't always easy that’s for sure.  Actually our first year of marriage was the toughest.  We didn't have to adjust to living together; we had already been doing that!  We were given a lot of obstacles to overcome, big decisions that I had never dreamed of having to make.  I mean when we got married, I hadn't made a car payment, mortgage payment, applied for a non-student loan. I hadn't bought a car or house – nothing major.  The Husband had to make decisions for his business, house, vehicles, it was a mess. It was stressful and it was hard.  We were both stressed for different reasons.
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He ended up taking a step back from his business and found a job working for another company. He was there until the company shut down – a mere four months later. Then he was able to get another job with a much larger company.  He was away a lot. He would be gone for a week, home for the weekend, and leave again on Sundays.  It was hard on us, on our relationship.  He was stressed because he wasn’t happy, because he was never home. We didn't do a whole lot when he was home, we spent a lot of time in ‘solitude’, no socializing  - with anyone. We needed those moments for us, to catch up, recover. Get in our snuggles. 

But here we are three years later, weathered the storm and made it to the sunshine. We are so much better for it, so much stronger.  Look, the reality is that marriage doesn't make a relationship easier. In some ways it can be harder.  There is change and compromise and thinking about the ‘we’ instead of the ‘me’. Sometimes that transition isn't fun.   At the end of the day, there is no one I can imagine being stressed with, waking up next to, going on dates with, or with whom I could imagine running around the house chasing me while the giggles are unending and the silliness never stops.

We celebrated our third anniversary the day of, the way we always do.  We go to our favorite restaurant in town for dinner then make our way to ice cream.  This year the restaurant was more crowded than I have EVER seen it! We had quite the dining experience, drawn out over a couple hours. After dinner, we decided to wander around Total Wine to make room for dessert! J 

The third wedding anniversary gift is leather or glass/crystal.   We bought The Husband some new tequila to try.  NEWS FLASH (to me): The Husband really likes Tequila. I had NO IDEA.  I thought his bevi of choice was rum! So anywho – the tequila is in glass so there you go J we are also ordering him a leather sheath for his fishing pliers.  Look at that – he got the traditional AND modern gifts!

So this was a NO BRAINER for me – leather. PURSE or SHOES?! I went with purse. I’m so glad I did.  I was so excited when it was delivered that when I got home, I had The Husband take some pictures for YOUR viewing pleasure. PLUS it is super adorbs! 
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We have a lot to learn as a couple and as individuals.  We are still young and have so many new things to experience together.  I'm not an expert and I know I'm not the perfect partner - ask my family.  This weekend my parents, husband and I were discussing chores, cooking, laundry, etc and I ACTUALLY said "if someone else is going to do it for me, why should I do it too".  Yeah - entitled/spoiled/princess-complex much?! I am very fortunate that The Husband helps with the chores and the cooking and doesn't expect me to do all of it. 

Here is what I know FOR SURE :
  • You have to make time for each other.  Life gets in the way, you get busy, there’s family, chores, friends, work.  We all get caught up in the whirlwind that is this crazy thing called life.  It isn’t always easy.
  • You love for the things they do right, you love for the ‘flaws’ or the annoying habits they have.  Maybe they slurp their drink when they aren't using a straw; maybe you don’t like the way they scroll through the guide when you are browsing for a tv show; regardless – you love them anyway.
  • When it gets hard, stay and fight.  When you are totally committed to your spouse, there are very few things that can’t be overcome and worked out.
  • The grass is not always greener.  What you get in social media is what the ‘host’ wants you to see.  FB, blogworld, Twitter, Instagram, etc – you are seeing THE. VERY. BEST. of people and their relationships. Keep that in mind and don’t compare what you have to what they have.   



It is not always easy and sometimes it isn't that fun, if we are being completely honest.  But it is ALWAYS worth it =)

You can read about our first date, wedding recaps, and anniversary one and two.
Happy Tuesday!
Love The One You're With
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4 comments:

LMK said...

Great reminder of the challenges we all face at times and keep celebrating the little things :)

Kristen said...

It is definitely worth it, I agree! :) Love the purse!

Adrienne said...

So dead on!!!
3 years IS a long time but not. HA HA!
Totally know what you mean.

And yes.. Marriage is HARD. It's WORK but it's also the most amazing thing.

You hit such good points that I feel some couples forget :(

And I LOVE your purse!!!!!

Life with J and J said...

Happy Anniversary! I 100% agree with you on making time for each other. It is key to every successful relationship!