Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I Don't Even Know My Last Name

The other day, my co-workers and I were discussing our maiden names. One of the ladies here asked what mine had been. I looked at her kind of shocked and made some smart-ass comment about her being crazy, acting like she doesn't know. She just stared at me.  Then everything clicked into place and the light bulb came on! She didn't know me then - she's never known me as anything other than Mr. J's Wife.
In all honesty, that sort of caught me off guard. I know we aren't defined by our names but it is weird to think that people I meet NOW, will only know me as Mrs. J....
I guess it shouldn't have shocked me like it did or caused me to pause a moment. The reality of it is, I don't really recall my life when J wasn't in it. Yes I know I had a life and everything and everyone led me to him but it seems like a distant memory. We have done so much together in the last 4.5 years that most of the memories I recall or stories that are told are more recent; pertaining to US.
When I do think about that time [so long ago ;)] I don't think about the boys I dated or the friends I had, I recall all my family time.
J and I sometimes joke that there were no others before him just as there were no other girls before me.  It is silly but it makes us laugh a lot. Sometimes I want to talk about different experiences we both had with other girlfriends/boyfriends from the past. Those experiences we had, molded us for this relationship - why not talk about them?  Now, don't get me wrong - I don't want to know all the romantic details about it all, I just like to hear the stories...I REALLY like to hear the crazy ones. Hearing about all the crazy he has encountered is like a twisted form of positive reinforcement that I am super awesome -- which I know I am but we all like to hear how awesome we are from our significant other.
 
Today we celebrate our SECOND wedding anniversary. So much has changed for us in the last two years.  When we said "I do", The Husband wasn't working for anyone but himself; he worked full time for his own company. In January of last year, he decided we needed more stable income and he got a job working for someone else. It has come with its own set of adjustments but him taking on this new role allowed us to save for a down payment and buy our house in October.
 
I have learned so much about myself and our relationship in the past two years.
-I have learned that just because someone tells you never to go to bed angry/mad, doesn't mean you have to stay up all night resolving an issue. We have found that we can sometimes agree to disagree and not go to sleep mad at one another.  We have worked out disagreements the next morning when we aren't feeling so emotional and can be more objective to the situation. 
-I have learned to keep my mouth shut...this is a big deal for me. I generally speak before I process what is being said.  This has gotten a lot of feelings hurt and definitely gotten me into trouble. 
-I have learned how to think about what is best for the TWO of us, instead of him being an after thought. 
-I have learned that our relationship is stronger when we pray together.
-I have learned that laughing and being silly is so very important. We chase each other around the house and end up in bed tickling and giggling.  This has led to some of our very best conversations. 
-I have learned that I require a TON of attention. It is a little sad but I need a lot of attention; that is my high maintenance quality. I don't need things, I just need snuggles and cuddles, hugs and kisses. 
-I have learned that we enjoy dinner more sitting side by side; I enjoy sitting across from him to look at him and all his handsome, but I like holding hands, sneaking small kisses on the cheek or forehead, feeling his hand on my knee, having his arm around me. Yes - we are the couple who sit side by side while dining out =) 

There is so much left to learn. There are so many things in store for our future.
Our First Anniversary 
In case you haven't looked before, check out the wedding tab OR you can check out the following links:


Tonight we will be sharing a romantic dinner of The Husband's choice. I asked him to pick and place and make reservations and not to tell me. I love surprises =) Happy Tuesday y'all!!
Photobucket

16 comments:

CeCe @Frugalista Married said...

So sweet! I too am learning to keep my mouth shut and we are also that couple that sits next to each other....I make him do it! Glad you two have found happiness together.

Café Moka said...

Happy anniversary!!!

I love the story you wrote about your coworker not knowing your middle name. It makes me think that here, in Quebec, when women get married, they keep their own last name, they can't take their husband's name (since 1981, it's the law), so I will never have those "identity" questions. I'll always have my own last name.

J and A said...

Ah I love this post. :)

Nicole said...

So sweet! Happy Anniversary!

Smiling is Good for Your Teeth said...

What a sweet post! And happy anniversary! You were a lovely bride! I feel the exact same way - I don't remember a lot of my life without my husband (not that I didn't have one or that it wasn't lived to the fullest!) - he has just been such a huge part of it for so long!

Happy Happy Day!

shay said...

Cute post! Happy Anniversary! Cheers to many more years of happiness and great memories!

Dana said...

Happy Anniversary!

Autumn Ingram said...

This post is too cute! Happy Anniversary!
Autumn,
http://missesinthemaking.blogspot.com

Aubrey S. said...

I really like your thoughts in this post; great reflections.

Happy Anniversary!

Kristen said...

Such a sweet post - Happy Anniversary! :)

Denise said...

Happy Anniversary! Your wedding looks like it was amazing! I love that first picture :)

Mrs. V said...

What a sweet post! Congratulations and happy anniversary!

I loved the part at the top about the maiden name conundrum. Having been married almost a year now I still get confused(often!).

Betty said...

Love this post. Congrats!!

April Rowell said...

Happy Anniversary! :) There's so much people don't tell you about becoming a wife. Your life really does change and it's a little bit harder sometimes when you constantly have to think about 2 people rather than one. Good post!

Faith said...

i loved reading this! so, so, sweet! marriage is truly a blessing! and being that couple that sits next to each other, holding hands, is the couple to be!

Faith said...

and yes, i need to learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes too ... but so does he, so does he. haha.

happy anniversary!!!