Thursday, May 3, 2012

Sunshine for My Soul

Do you ever wished you blogged 100% anonymously??
no? I'm the only one??

Sometimes I need an outlet just to vent.
I don't feel like I can really let loose because EVERYONE I know reads my little blog. Trust me - I LOVE keeping friends and family in the loop
and I love that I have met so many wonderful people in blog-land.

I have to keep telling myself that if I would have blogged anonymously, I wouldn't have created relationships with some of you wonderfuls! That would truly be a travesty!  I can't help but WANT to have somewhere to have some sort of anonymity BUT then I wouldn't have anyone to share it with; I wouldn't have comments or 'fans' or people to give me a different perspective. I would just be venting into nothingness - which is helpful if you just need to scream.

But sometimes people are mean/rude/spiteful and I want to talk about it.
I'm really sensitive about people - when I react to something, it is usually me thinking about whether it could be offensive or hurt someone in the group I am with. my feelings don't necessarily get hurt easily - unless we are close friends or you are family. I completely let my guard down around friends and family...mostly. 

Over the past couple weeks there have been people in my life who have hurt me.
Nothing MAJOR - but things were said or done and it didn't really fly with me.
Something about this girl here is that I didn't always have friends - for real. 

if you have been around these parts for any length of time, you know I'm SUPER close with my family. So I take any and all friendships to heart. 
BECAUSE of this, I don't always say when something has hurt me.

It is just so much easier to avoid that sort of conflict ....
that AND most of the people in my life are 'new' to it...
as in the last 2-7 years. Sometimes I'm not sure how they will react to my blunt honesty.  The Husband and I don't have this issue -so don't worry about my happy little marriage =) 

Anyhow - I'm rambling but I think these are the reasons that this place, this blog, hasn't been filled with all sorts of randoms and ramblings and stories - I guess I am struggling internally with other things that I feel are probably inconsequential; they just rubbed me the wrong way. 

In light of this epiphany - I started making a list.  
I've deemed it:


when I made it this morning, it was a terrible poem haha!
it has since been shortened to a list of happies

Saying a prayer and instantly feeling better
Going for a Run
Loving my Life
Pretty high heels
Nail Polish
Cupcakes and Frosting
My Husbands Eyes and Smile
The Sun in the Sky
My wedding rings and what they Represent
The color Pink
Romantic movies with Happily Ever Afters
Wearing Sunnies (sunglasses)
Sitting in the same side of the Booth
Cuddling on the Couch
Salty air in my hair and off shore fishing
My family and friends from all mediums in my life
The way my Husband loves Me
Meeting new people
The Husband texting me "haters gonna hate"

seriously - it rhymed at one point and it was seriously I laughed while I rhymed it!  but hey I'm a crafter NOT a writer! I had to stop because I was crying from laughing!

So what is your sunshine for YOUR soul?


Kelly M. said...

The good news... Blog friends don't' judge :-). Hope your weekend brings more positivity. Kelly

Carolyn said...

I love this post! I'm right there with you! So many times I've thought "UGH! If only they didn't know about my blog, I could get my feelings out!" but I love the relationships I've developed from the way my blog is. :) Your poem is adorable! LOVE IT!

Unknown said...

My motto is if it happens once, let it go. If it happens two times, say something to them but don’t be defensive about it. If it happens three times they obviously don’t care about you or your friendship enough to take your feelings to heart and it’s time to reconsider things. I hope things get better for you and as a new follower, I do have to say I am very glad you started your blog!! :)

Shannon said...

Do you follow Raven's blog? She posted the BEST thing yesterday that seems like it's right up your alley for how you're feeling!!

I really think you should throw caution to the wind and post whatever you want. Most times, when I am pissed, and I think "oh, I'll blog about this" I will get the whole post typed, then wait an hour or two to post it. When I go back to proof-read it, I decide the whole thing is stupid and just keep it as a draft.

I bet there would be a good few of us who could relate to your situation, and it would give EVERYONE a chance to vent! :)

I like when a "sweet blogger" has a mean rant every now and then. It means you're real, and you get mad sometimes, just like me!

Hope your day got better! J is right - haters gonna hate!! :)

Natalie said...

I wish there were posts where I could be anonymous and other where I could say "Hey, it's me!" but I'm not really sure how that would work! Anyway, I'm feeling you on this post!! :)

J and A said...

At times I wish my blog was annoymous or at least some of my family didn't read so I could just vent.
We don't judge here and are always here to listen!!

Kelly said...

I am an annon blogger.. My boyfriend, my family, no one knows I blog. I keep it that way well this way I can keep it real!! Makes life a little bit easier!!! Though there are days where I'd love to be to my family hey I blog or whatever, it just allows me to be me and not worry about what I'm saying or my comments. just makes life easier.. so even those who don't tell their friends wish they did sometimes!!! said...

I have an anonymous blog because i do not want to be all puppies & rainbows. I want to be raw & full of emotion. i still manage to have a few followers even so. I will never let ppl in my real life have it. Even my wedding blog is private & pw protected lol.

CeCe said...

That's why I have two blogs. One is public and one is juicy and private-LOL! Also, I actually haven't given out my url to any friends and family except my husband; so I do have anonymity in that way. At some point I will share it but I just haven't yet.